a passion for parenthood

i know some people always dream of having children, some never want children, some have kids just because and there are many variations in between.

i always knew i wanted to be a mom. i loved babysitting, i loved kids, i loved teaching and i couldn't wait for my own.

as i was pregnant i tried to squeeze in as much reading and studying so that i could know everything before this little baby came into the world. i was as prepared as i could possibly be. and i enjoyed every minute of learning and still do.

i often times, as many mother's do, feel inadequate. i feel like there just isn't enough time in the day for housework, hobbies and my baby. i get weepy sometimes as i look at blogs and see these seemingly perfect lives with cupcakes and curls. they are moms too, most of them stay-at-home moms like myself but they seem to get 1,000 times more done than i do (and look a 1,000 times better too). i get a little jealous, what do they have that i don't? i am not stupid, lazy or untalented and i have only one kid? (this is describing my personal pity party)

but with the help of my husband i pull myself together and remind myself of all the things I do that can't be captured. i am a mom of a young child and don't have time for hobbies. i can't blog about my perfect life because it is not perfect and i can't take pictures of really cute cupcakes cause honestly that isn't worth my time, and it isn't my passion.

each and everyday my passion is in being a mom. i can't document the number of times i change diapers and feed him, but more than that the number of songs we sing, the times we play peek-a-boo, build towers, pull my wallet apart, play outside, smell flowers, throw balls, bang rocks, draw with chalk, go to the park, read books and snuggle pillows. these moments that i really 'don't do anything' are moments that are shaping the skills, intellegence and personality of my son, and truley this time with him is my passion.

i still need time to myself and for myself yes, but it isn't at the expense of my baby. also now he is getting more helpful and independent so the housework category is getting more regular attention. but hobbies are not on my priority list at this time.

for those mom's who have it all together, this post isn't for you. for those whole feel like there is too much on your plate, i say prioritize and eliminate the frills. relish the time you have with your babies. they will grow up too fast. invest in each moment you are able to spend with them, because you are their first and most important teacher they will ever have.